Sometimes we get discouraged about our lives. We get discouraged because we don’t think God cares about us and we think He doesn’t want to do anything to help us. We get to the point that we are ready to give up or we think that if our situation would just change then everything would get better.
Recently, a friend of mine and a Fruitland graduate sent me an email that contained the following information. He has given me permission to use his email as a basis to write the following-
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Dear Kenny:
After much prayer and wrestling with this, I feel it is time for me to look for a new ministry opportunity. I have been looking and was wondering if you would consider writing a letter of recommendation for me to another church I am interested in.
My situation is:
I have been serving where I am for 6 ½ years now (3 years volunteer, the rest full-time paid).
The ministry has grown from no organized student and children’s ministry to an organized ministry with small groups for middle/ high school students and a solid core of volunteers.
However, we still have some structure issues and whenever I try and propose some help to address this, I am either ignored or nothing happens.
Compensation- I struggle to make it on my salary (which has not changed in 2 years) and when I last talked about this, the door was closed quickly.
When I pray about the whole situation, I don’t know that I am the one who can help to get things to the next level. I am overwhelmed, frustrated, and generally at a loss. So, I am at a point where I am testing the waters and to see if something else is available. I am not totally sure of what to do.
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Dear Friend,
You wrote that you have been serving at your church for 6 ½ years now. (3 years volunteer, the rest full-time paid). I think this is great that you have been at your church for over 6 years!
But you shouldn’t feel like it is time to move on. Sadly, that is what a lot of pastors and youth ministers think and do. But, research has shown that the longer a pastor or youth pastor stays at a specific church, the more fruitful the ministry becomes. Believe it or not, no matter how long someone has been in a ministry, they are always at the beginning, always at the starting line. Why? Because God is able to do exceeding, abundantly, above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). It all depends upon your attitude. Ready to give up or ready to move ahead?
It is so easy to think that your ministry over. I want to encourage you by saying that your ministry is never over…..unless you quit. I want you to know that, since you have been there for “only” 6 years, you are probably just at the starting line of what God wants to do in your church and in your life. Mud Creek Baptist Church didn’t really start growing, probably, until our pastor had been here for about 7-8 years. He took his time and laid the foundation for the church to be a healthy and balanced (balanced=evangelism and discipleship). Once that was set in place, God began to grow the church in miraculous ways and it is still growing today. By the way, we are celebrating Greg’s 27th anniversary this week. Length of stay does have something to do with fruitfulness in ministry.
Another issue you wrote about was you said that the ministry had grown from no organized student and children’s ministry to an organized ministry with small groups for middle/ high school students and a solid core of volunteers. However, you still have some structure issues and whenever you try and propose some new ideas to help with this, you are either ignored or nothing happens.
Guess what? Who doesn’t have structure issues? Nothing is perfect, including the structure of any church or ministry. There are always things that need to be addressed, improved and worked on. Why? Life is always in a constant state of change and people are always in a constant state of change. Nothing stays the same and that includes ministries and churches.
Also, no one likes change. Change takes time and it won’t happen quickly. Fro example, it is easier for a small fishing boat to change its course in the water than it is for a large cruise ship to change course. So it is in the church and in life.
When you say you are ignored or nothing happens, try not to take it personally. People don’t like to change but they will gradually adjust if you will be patient and allow the Spirit of God to work in their lives. Don’t focus on the unwillingness to change, focus on growing in your relationship to God and focus on assisting the people in your ministry to grow in their relationship to God. The Lord is very capable of getting His work done and very capable of changing people’s hearts and heads.
By the way, you’re being ignored? Welcome to the ministry and following in Jesus’ footsteps.
You also mention in your email about compensation. You said that you struggle to make it on your salary (which has not changed in 2 years) and when you last talked about your salary, the door was quickly closed. Again, welcome to the ministry and join the countless others, not only in ministry but people in their secular jobs, who struggle to make it on the salary they make and haven’t a raise in several years, either. Probably the majority of your congregation is in the same situation. Why should you be any different?
And, what are you worried about regarding your compensation? The Father knows what you need (Matthew 6) and Jesus said not to worry about your life (Matthew 6) and that if you will seek first His kingdom and His righteousness that He would take care of you.
And do you not remember what Paul said, “My God shall supply all your needs” (Philippians 4)? Brother, if the Father knows what you need and He has promised to supply your needs, if you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, if you don’t have it, then, you must not need it. (By the way, that would be good message for Thanksgiving: “Thank You, God, For What I Don’t Have”).
Don’t bring up the issue of a pay raise with the church. That comes across as being greedy. Plus, the church may have been thinking about giving you a raise for more than what you might ask for, so they could just go with your lower amount and you would miss out on the larger raiseJ.
You wrote that when you pray about the whole situation, you don’t know that you are the one who can help to get things to the next level. HUH? That is being very self-centered. Not selfish, mind you, self-centered in the fact that you are looking at your self and looking to the Lord.
But, I guess God can’t do “exceeding, abundantly, above all that you ask or think”. I would be disappointed in you, my friend, if you thought you could take it to the next level. You can’t, but, He can. God calls us to tasks that we cannot do in our own strength. That’s where the miraculous power of God moves in. In the flesh, we can nothing of eternal value. If God calls us to a task, then, He provides the necessary power and strength to accomplish the task. That is, if you realize you can’t do it, but, He can do it.
You wrote, “I am overwhelmed, frustrated, and generally at a loss”. Join the fraternity of fellow brothers in the ministry. It is in our weakness, that God’s
grace is totally sufficient to accomplish His work through us. If you were not overwhelmed, frustrated, and generally at a loss, it would probably mean that you were not accomplishing great things, God-sized tasks, in the kingdom of God. Your discouragement is not from God: it is from the ol’ devil.
“So”, you wrote, “I am at a point where I am testing the waters and to see if something else is available”. Who said you should test the waters? Where does that come from? Your head? And where do you find a biblical basis for this philosophy of “testing the waters”? If you can prove this, biblically, then I will be open to you testing the waters, but, I don’t think you can back up that philosophy with scripture.
You told me that you are not totally sure of what to do. I know what you need to do: you need to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33). You sound to me as if you have started trying to take care of God’s business. God’s business is everything you have mentioned so far-“all these things” in Matthew 6:33 means “all these things”. But, if you want, you can keep on trying to take care of God’s business and live in misery….that is, if you want to.
You have started trying to figure everything out. Sorry, but you are wrong for doing that. You will never get it all figured out and, if you try, you will just become more frustrated and discouraged about your situation.
If you try to take care of God’s business, then, you will have a divided mind of confusion, doubt, worry, fretting, and anxiousness. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. That’s the instructions Jesus gives in Matthew 6.
When Jesus says, “Take no thought (KJV)” (other translations read, “Do not worry” or “do not be anxious”), He uses the Greek (root) word “merimna”.
“Merimna” means to be drawn in different directions, to have a divided mind and to have a two-sided mind. “Merimna” results in confusion and chaos in the head and in the heart. An example of “merimna” would be: a believer knows they should trust God yet they worry about the situations they face. That is “merimna” and the result is doubt, confusion, worry, fear, anxiousness, and fretting. The believer who insists on taking care of God’s business, which is what you are trying to do in your circumstance, will begin to suffer spiritually and then the people around that person will begin to suffer. I know this is true because I have experienced this principle in my own personal life.
By the way, the doubt, confusion, worry, fear, anxiousness, and fretting that you are experiencing, is a “red flag”, a warning sign, if you will, given to you by the Spirit of God to let know that you are trying to take care of God’s business and that your desires don’t match up with God’s desire for you. What is His desire for you? Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. Brother, you know what to do because you have heard me say most of this before in the classes you had with me at Fruitland. You just won’t do it.
God is exposing this area in your life right and He is dealing with you in this area of you trying to take care of His business. If you choose not to learn this lesson, (and I am serious about this), everyone around you will suffer, including your wife, your child, and your ministry. The Lord is trying to draw you to this point of seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness. YBH-yes, but how?
You must come to the place that you are sick and tired of trying to take care of God’s business, which is “all these things” in your life and admit and confess this to God.
Then, you must ask the Lord to teach you what it means to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and then ask Him to teach you what He means by “all these things shall be added unto you”. The beginning point of seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness is your relationship to God. It begins there and it ends there. (Also, it helps me, when I find that my desires do not match up with God’s desire over something, to quote Matthew 6:33).
You say you “feel” like it is time to leave…..where do you find that philosophy in the Bible? I do not find any scripture that can be used as a basis for us “feeling” a certain way that would indicate it is time to leave. What I do find in the Bible is that we are to walk and live by faith in an intimate, loving relationship with God. (And what is faith? It is a relationship with God, but, that will have to be explained in another emailJ).
Discerning God’s will is never based upon how we feel. Go back to the seven realities of “Experiencing God”, that you memorized for the 301 final exam, to refresh your memory about this subject. http://swcbc.org/exp_god.html
But remember what I taught you in class: the perfect will of God is not a place, a position, etc. The perfect will of God is a relationship with Him. That is why He created you: to have an intimate relationship with you and that is of the utmost importance to Him. It should be of the utmost importance to you. God pursues you in order to have this kind of relationship with you.
You should pursue Him in order to have a personal, intimate relationship with Him.
(By the way, even though you say that you “feel” like it is time to leave, the Spirit of God does not operate in the area of “feelings”. That would mean that He operates in the area of the “flesh” because feelings are fleshly. The brain is a piece of flesh and it is the organ of the body that controls everything else in bodies, including feelings and emotions. I am not saying that sometimes we don’t feel the Spirit of God. That has happened to me on many occasions. But when we talk about the leadership of the Holy Spirit regarding leaving one church and going to another church (or other important decisions), I just can’t believe that He would work in the area of flesh, emotions, and feelings. James Dobson’s book, “Emotions: Can You Trust Them?” has, as its conclusion, that you cannot trust your emotions. We don’t deny that we have emotions-that is part of how God created us. But, what we can’t do is trust our emotions to make decisions.)
You asked me to write a letter of recommendation to another church you are interested in pursuing. I will not do that. You aren’t ready for another church until you get the above issues worked out personally. Besides, do you think moving to another church will solve your problems. Absolutely not!
That is why some marriages end in divorce. One person in the marriage thinks that if they just had someone else to whom they were married, then, everything would be better and their problems would be solved. AAAARGHHH!!!!!!! That makes me sick and that is ridiculous!!!! The grass is never greener on the other side.
But, you know, pastors and youth ministers do the very same thing. They think that if they can just go to another church or a larger church, that everything will get better and their problems will be solved. Again: AAAARGHHH!!!!!!! That makes me sick and that is ridiculous!!!! Moving to another church will not solve or resolve spiritual issues. That is God’s business and responsibility. Move to another church without Him telling you to move and leading you to move will only expose these spiritual issues in your life that need to be addressed and will only make your life more miserable, your family’s life more miserable and your ministry more miserable. I know that church that you have your “eye” on. If they got rid of one pastor, what makes you think they wouldn’t do the same to you?
My dear friend, all that I have said may seem to be harsh (and extremely longJ), but, it is not intended to be harsh. All that I have said is with a heart of love for you and I want the very best for you in your spiritual life and in your ministry. I wish someone had told me all of this twenty years ago when I first was called into the ministry. It would have saved me from a lot of heartaches and disappointments along the way in many areas of my life.
You know what to do: now, go do it!
